I feel like I just sipped on soda and it came out of my nose! This is complete nonsense!! No wonder I don't read the daily text anymore!
How arrogant!
Crisis of Conscience
JoinedPosts by Crisis of Conscience
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35
Tuesday, May 11th Daily Text - The nerve!!!
by Girlie injust thought i would share what the borg is dispensing as "spiritual food at the proper time" .. .
tuesday, may 11. quickly.
they forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel.ps.106:13.. some may have left gods flock because they did not agree with some scriptural teaching.
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Was it EX JW literature / WT's or the BIBLE which woke you up? Post scriptures if any....
by EndofMysteries ini considered myself immune to ex jw stuff.
no amount of old watchtowers or anything would change me.
it was seeing treatment of others by elders and the bible itself, which woke me.
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Crisis of Conscience
I'm still in and "active." I could mention a variety, but amongst the things that woke me up, one that stands out is the ministry along with the magazines.
I pioneered for a few years and I really began to think about the message I was giving to people, mainly how religion is responsible for so many attrocities and divisions. And that got the ball rolling and made me realize that even in being a JW you aren't immune to this. Especially when it comes to dividing families because of shunning, which I now take personal but supported in the past.
Then an article in one of the magazines dealt with the subject of questioning the religion of ones birth or family. It offered so much openness to all other religions. But it made me wonder why I felt so oppressed in questioning anything within mine. Why the secrecy?
Needless to say the brick wall in front of me came down. I now question everything, although mostly silent. I feel my days are numbered.
And I HATE, I HATE, I HATE!......... religion.
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Anyone look at this board while still an IN and ACTIVE JW?
by Mad Sweeney ini vaguely remember looking at this board a few years ago, before i ever considered leaving the borg, and being appalled at the evil and hateful attitudes i saw here and scared to death of reading any further.. now i go back through years and years of posts and there is no evil or hate there at all.
it's one of the most kind and welcoming boards i've encountered since the invention of the internet.. that is how well borg indoctrination works.
it is eerily like 1984. black is white.
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Crisis of Conscience
Still 'in' and 'active'. I'm planning on resigning as a MS really soon.
I had let my wife know I began doing "research." This site was where I was researching the most. She wasn't too excited and it made me feel bad so I stopped for a few months. But I couldn't deny how I felt inside. So I lurked here for a few months and finally joined.
I had the initial scared feeling of being here, but it didn't take long to ware off when I realized I wasn't the only one with doubts and concerns. Thank you to everyone here! This is how I keep my sanity while 'in'!! Therapy at its best. And it's free!
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If you felt/feel that you had/have good, close "friends" in the org, how did/does it feel to just give them up?
by Crisis of Conscience inthis is my biggest dilema.
although mentally i really feel i could walk away from the org right now, i still have genuine love for the people i have come to know over the years.
i love people!.
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Crisis of Conscience
This is my biggest dilema. Although mentally I really feel I could walk away from the org right now, I still have genuine love for the people I have come to know over the years. I love people!
And yes I do realize that if they find out I have become "weak", most will, if not all, abandon our conditional friendship. So I have been keeping up a great act. But this feels like the only thing holding me in the org.
What are your feelings?
Comments and experiences welcome please.
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Do you still pray? Why?
by gubberningbody inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6ilzaaami.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uazdcs-rmf4.
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Crisis of Conscience
I'm trying to keep it up but I feel somewhat disconnected at the moment.
And I've been wondering why we have to ask God for things so much, repeatedly. I mean if he can read the heart and knows what we need before we do, how many times do I have to ask?
I like to illustrate it like this: Someone has a snakebite and needs an antidote, which you have in your possession. You can readily perceive this person needs help, perhaps without him saying a thing. But yet you expect him to keep asking you for the antidote, even begging you. And you respond that you realize what he needs but then proceed to say to please ask you again.
Why would any loving human do that? That's how I been feeling about God and seemingly unanswered prayers. It's been awhile too but I'm really starting to realize it now.
I haven't given up.... yet.
As far as why, I guess I still accept that there has to be a greater being out there. And it is what I have been taught.
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You ever drive to the meeting, or field service meeting point, and do a U-Turn and go back home?
by miseryloveselders ini did this today.
last night, the pretty little weather girl stated there would "be heavy rain marked by occasional thunderstorms.
" i thought to myself, great, hopefully its so bad when i awaken, anybody originally planning on going out, will just stay home.
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Crisis of Conscience
I can't quite remember turning around and going home but I'm sure I have to have done it at least once.
Anyway more recently I went out one morning that my wife wasn't going out because of work. There was only one sister there and she thought about someone else that would go out, much to my dismay. Being the brother "taking the lead"™, I thought to my self, AWWWW Hell no! So as a responsible brother I said, "Why don't you two sisters go together and I'll take care of somethings I have to handle this morning."
I went home, worked out, showered, played a videogame, and went to meet my wife for lunch.
Never new I could accomplish so much during a morning of field service! Best day ever! Lately I've just been not going altogether. Love my bed!!
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Do JW's get "Brownie Points" for Converting People?
by OnTheWayOut inan older clip, but joel engardio who produced "knocking" thinks they do not.. http://www.mefeedia.com/watch/30425016.
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Crisis of Conscience
White Doveshe had 5 BS at the time
Doesn't BS normally stand for Bull S**T? So where did this woman find all this crap? Was she raised on a farm? LOL
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Crisis of Conscience
OOH!! Pick me!! Pick me!!
I had the "privilege" and currently still do. I don't mind handling the mics or even the sound booth. It keeps me distracted.
And while doing the sound recently during the meeting, I "paid attention"...............to my cellphone. I viewed and read this apostate website! The Horror!! I'm going to die!! LOL
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If still "in", how do you feel when praying in front of a group despite being in doubt of your beliefs?
by Crisis of Conscience init happened to me this weekend.
i'm curently "active" and had some long time friends from a different congregation over for dinner.. we went through the formality of praying before the meal.
normally or rather lately i've been passing it off to someone else.
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Crisis of Conscience
It happened to me this weekend. I'm curently "active" and had some long time friends from a different congregation over for dinner.
We went through the formality of praying before the meal. Normally or rather lately I've been passing it off to someone else. But for some reason this time I didn't do it. Instead I went for it and prayed. And for the first time I felt and noticed in myself a complete disconnection. Everything I said I feel just came out because that is what I have been taught or conditioned to say over the years. They had some meaning in the past, I admit, and sometimes strongly. But this time, nothing. And I don't even feel guilty about it.
I'm actually in shock that I feel like this so quickly. That I have come to this realization. Perhaps the "truth" never did really take root in my heart.
I guess I can consider that a good thing. But at the same time it makes me wonder how many more times I'm going to be in that situation, especially since I'm not in a position to leave the org right now nor have decided if or how it would happen. And how am I going to handle it?
So of those here that were/are in that position, how did/do you feel? What thoughts went/go through your head as you spew out random thoughts to appease the believers? Were/are you able to handle it? Or how did/do you handle it?
Thanks in advance for the responses and feel free to include experiences that others can benefit from.
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privilleges equals spirituality
by stillin inwhat a sad joke!
posters here talk about the "do more" pushiness in the organization and that is so true!
elders just assume that you want to carry microphones and work your way up the spiritual ladder to that blissful state of total immersion in "kingdom matters.
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Crisis of Conscience
I completely agree, 100%. Over the last 2 years or so, I've been spoken to about all those things. I'm currently an MS. The elders have been wanting to recommend me. Service hours were no problem but supposedly commenting was, more so on my wife's part. And they spoke to me about a few other things. I was all for it and doing my best to fit the mold until I really started questioning how the Holy Spirit is invoved in all this. What does it take to be perfect in the little things that aren't scriptual?
I said to myself, how can an elder or his wife not comment enough or not support Saturday service, or whatever else, continue to do that and not loose his "privilege" of being an elder? But supposedly I wasn't meeting the qualifications because I was lacking.
Now I've never been after a position, so that didn't upset me, but it just didn't make sense. You are exempt when you become an elder? So the last time I was talked to about it I let the brothers know that right now I do not want to be an elder. Who would've thought that after I started questioning things and researching I would've come to the conclusion that I NEVER want to be an elder.
I was appointed a servant in my late teens. That should have never happened. Holy spirit? I doubt it! And all these years, though I've strived to become more 'spiritual', I have never felt it, even despite praying for it. Yet the brothers say it is obvious that I've been blessed and have God's spirit. Whatever!
I know I've rambled a bit but all in all, privileges never define spirituality. If it did, many of us wouldn't be on here based on JW standards. But look how we were pushed. I don't reget it though.